Now They’ll Experience Handcuffs

I totally love WINA’s phrasing in this story:

City Police say two 17-year old boys experienced stab wounds at around 7:45 p.m. in the 800 block of Orangedale Avenue. One teen had a stab wound in his neck, and the other was cut in the torso area.

They “experienced stab wounds.” We find out in the next sentence that they experienced them firsthand, having received them on their own personal bodies in order to better experience them with more clositude.

I’m not trying to pick on you, WINA. This was just my first laugh of the day and I wanted to share.

8 thoughts on “Now They’ll Experience Handcuffs”

  1. Ooh, and it goes on:

    They were taken to the University of Virginia Hospital, and neither was found with a life-threatening injury.

    They probably dropped their life-threatening injuries by accident when they experienced stabbing.


  2. Clositude is a wordification making referenceness to the status of existence of or pertaining to the physical proximititude of one or more objects.

    Eschew obfuscation!

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