All Your Districts Are Belong To Us

The GOP redistricting that we mentioned last week is finished, according to the Daily Progress. Senator Emily Couric (D) no longer represents Crozet and Free Union; those precincts now belong to Emmett Hanger Jr. (R) of Mt. Solon. (Where?) Keswick and Free Bridge are represented by Edward Houck (D) of Spotsylvania. Couric said, simply, “I think it would be better for the people of Albemarle County to have one senator.” Says Rep. Hanger of his new district, “It looks nice on the map.”

2 thoughts on “All Your Districts Are Belong To Us”

  1. I’m sure that there will be all sorts of monkeyshines when Emmett Hanger takes charge of Free Union & Crozet. You know, the usual stuff. Running his underwear up the flagpole. Short-sheeting his bunk bed. Dipping his left hand in warm water while he’s sleeping. But I’m sure that by the end of the movie, we’ll have accepted Emmett as one of our own and he’ll even show up at the last minute to help us beat Richmond in the big pie-eating contest/water balloon toss.

    So let’s all welcome Emmett here into our ‘home-away-from-home.’ And Munk, let’s have no more of your wild plans (so crazy that they just might work) to get Emmett shipped back to Mt. Solon and bring Emily back to be our counselor again. I’m watching you, kiddo.

  2. I don’t think it’s accurate to say that Emiliy Couric is “no longer” the senator for Free Union and Crozet. I don’t think that this is a done deal, and even if it were, I don’t think it goes into effect immediately.

    That said, here’s my reaction: Those bastards!

    Janis Jaquith


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