Somebody attacked a Salvation Army bell-ringer and stole the kettle of donations today, Jessica Jaglois reports for CBS-19. Outside of Sam’s Club early this afternoon,, a guy in a black leather jacket, jeans, and—weirdly—a bright green traffic vest approached the 43-year-old bell-ringer, pushed him to the ground, grabbed the kettle, and made his escape in the back seat of a gold Mercury Sable. It was captured on surveillance video.
Somebody’s getting coal in his stocking.
Maybe the guy was someone who’s worked for years on the downtown mall, and finally snapped after listening to that go*&!mn bell ringing for years and years.
If I’m right, can’t say I blame him!!
Then they needed to steal the bell, not the money.
I know, the thief was an angry liberal, furious at the Salvation Army for their anti-gay policies! In a modern-day Robin Hood-esque move with a political twist, the thief immediately donated the money to The Lesbian Avengers’ soup kitchen team!
Nope, no donation so far. We could sure use the funds though. Had to borrow my girlfriend’s turkey baster to make the Thanksgiving meal. If you’ve ever tried impregnating yourself with something covered in turkey grease, you know how gross that is.
Who among us hasn’t been there?