School Shinola Showdown

This story from the Waynesboro News Virginian is awesome:

A student who defecated in a lunchroom bowl triggered a series of events that culminated in the recent walkout by four workers in the Fort Defiance High School cafeteria, The News Virginian has learned.


It all began Feb. 9 when two Fort students — including a guidance counselor’s son — bet a third student $15 he would not defecate in a bowl.

You can see where this is going, but you’ve got to read it anyway.

If this were in Charlottesville, I’d be outraged. But the fact that it’s in Augusta renders it merely hilarious. Extra bonus points to the News Virginian for the title (“Poop prank leads to uproar” — I love the alliteration) and the great word substitution in this quote:

“This is the first I’ve heard of the [feces] incident,” Shiflett said. “I hope you have your facts straight.”

Who can come up with some alternate headlines?

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